Meet Candy Abbott, author of “I’ve Never Loved Him More”

9781938796081 COVER - Front RGBBy Candy Abbott

I’ve Never Loved Him More

A Husband’s Alzheimer’s, A Wife’s Devotion

“Mom,” my daughter Kim said, “You know you’re going to have to write a book about how you’re dealing with Dad.”

I recoiled at the thought. It was all I could do to get through each day of unknowns and added responsibilities. “No, hon. I have to live this before I can write about it. I have no energy to think about ministering to others right now. Maybe after it’s all over—maybe then, I could think about writing—but not while I’m dealing with all this raw emotion. I’m still finding my way.”

A couple of weeks later, I shared my struggles as an Alzheimer’s caregiver with Delmarva Christian Writers’ Fellowship. During the coffee break, Claire Smith touched my arm and looked deep into my eyes. “Candy, you need to write a book about this, you know.”

I flinched and felt my face flush. “That’s what Kim said, but I don’t think so. Not for years, anyway. I have to get through this first.”

She tilted her head and said with a knowing look. “We’ll see.”

I wanted to smack her encouraging prophetic face. Instead, I smiled sweetly. But a seed had taken root. I felt it in the core of my soul.

And then came the phone conversation with my writing mentor, Nancy Rue.

“Everywhere I turn, people are telling me that I need to write about this, and I don’t have the time, energy, or inclination.”

“Well,” she said, “don’t think of it in terms of writing a book. Just try capturing some scenes now and then that seem significant. I think it could be therapeutic for you. No pressure, no goals, just get some of these things out of your head and heart and onto paper where you can look at them. It’ll give you a little bit of control, and it won’t be hard. Just capture some scenes.”

Nancy was on target. Right from the beginning, my manuscript began teaching me things about myself as I recorded my raw emotions and the mysterious changes taking place in Drew. I shared parts of the manuscript with Sara Lewis, and she said, “Candy, people need this NOW. You have to publish this as soon as possible.”

And so I did. Drew is still in the moderate phase of Alzheimer’s, and I have to hide all evidence of the book as he thinks he’s perfectly fine. But I have peace that I’m doing the right thing by releasing our story while he’s still living.

One woman said the first few pages brought healing of unresolved grief over her grandfather. Another said she overcame guilt over how she had cared for her husband until she recognized herself as a Proverbs 31 Woman. A seven-year-old granddaughter with severe anxiety reads the book with her grandmother every night. “She may not understand everything,” Sharon said, “but she feels the love.”

What pleases me most is that people see hope between the pages. I suspect my hardest days are yet ahead, and I’m still writing. But this I know: Alzheimer’s doesn’t have to break you. It can make you trust God more and teach you to appreciate living in the moment. It’s all about finding a depth of love you didn’t know you had in you.

About the Author

Candy October 2013 teal - sm

facebook.com/candyabbott

Twitter @CandyAbbott

LinkedIn candy-abbott

Pinterest CandyAbbott

http://www.fruitbearer.com

Meet Christina Britton Conroy, author of “How to have Fun with your Aging Parents”

978-1934912-77-5 cvr 2By Christina Britton Conroy

When I was twenty-seven, my sixty-year-old mother died of cancer. I was left to care for my temperamental, over-controlling, eighty-year-old father. While grieving for my mother, I was also angry with her for dying young. Taking care of her elderly husband was supposed to have been her job, not mine. Continue reading “Meet Christina Britton Conroy, author of “How to have Fun with your Aging Parents””

Meet Lori LaBey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks

A Gift in a Strange Package

LoriLaBeyBy Lori La Bey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks

I have to admit caring for my Mother with dementia was not on my bucket list. In fact, the possibility never crossed my mind. Dementia crept into our lives slowly. Its visits were spontaneous and behavior changes subtle, giving me the perfect excuse to live in denial. Continue reading “Meet Lori LaBey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks”

Meet Margo Rose, author of “Body Aware Grieving”

BAG cover FRONTThe Last Christmas Present

By Margo Rose

The first client with advanced Alzheimer’s who I worked with as a fitness trainer was named Gwen.

When I met her, she was 92 years old and had already lived for five years in the dementia section of an assisted care facility. Continue reading “Meet Margo Rose, author of “Body Aware Grieving””

Meet H.A. Robinson, author of “The Pebble Jar”

HAR_Pebble_Ebook_Rveal (1) (1)By H.A. Robinson

When I sat down to write The Pebble Jar around this time last year, I had no idea of the personal journey the book would take me on. In March of 2016, my little Nana passed away at the age of ninety-one after a long and painful battle with Alzheimer’s. By the time she fell asleep for the last time, we had almost completely lost the essence of who she had once been, leaving us with a shell of the person we loved. Continue reading “Meet H.A. Robinson, author of “The Pebble Jar””

Welcome Sisters Susan Kiser Scarff & Ann Kiser Zultner, Authors of Dementia: The Journey Ahead

51meTGNSoXLBy Susan Kiser Scarff

Within a year of my husband receiving his dementia diagnosis, I had a classic case of caregiver burnout. I couldn’t concentrate at work and most of my time was taken up with worrying about my husband’s uncharacteristic and impulsive behavior. I was petrified and intimidated about the future…overwhelmed with basic day-to-day activities. Continue reading “Welcome Sisters Susan Kiser Scarff & Ann Kiser Zultner, Authors of Dementia: The Journey Ahead”

Meet Bryan Wiggins, author of “Autumn Imago”

WIGGINS_AutumnImago_NewCover copyBy Bryan Wiggins

No one I know has Alzheimer’s disease. My parents have entered their eighties with their sharp minds intact. Only one of my four grandparents suffered any kind of dementia, and Granny’s wasn’t that severe. So when I forget a name, lose my car keys, or question what the heck I’m doing standing in the basement after clomping down the stairs, I shrug my shoulders and carry on. Continue reading “Meet Bryan Wiggins, author of “Autumn Imago””

“Meet Me Where I am – An Alzheimer’s Care Guide” by Mary Ann Drummond

Meet-Me-Where-I-Am-AMAZON (3)By: Mary Ann Drummond, RN

When I was a young girl I dreamed I would grow up and become a nurse.  I seldom left home without my nurse’s kit filled with band-aids, cotton balls, and gum drop pills just in case my services were needed.  It seemed so simple in those days to comfort and to heal, or at least that is what my Grandmother led me to believe each time she let me practice my skills on her. Continue reading ““Meet Me Where I am – An Alzheimer’s Care Guide” by Mary Ann Drummond”

Meet Suzka Collins, author of “Wonders in Dementialand”

BK-Dementialand-COVERBy Suzka Collins

Ah… the wonders I found living with my mother in Dementialand. It all started almost minutes after she was diagnosed with progressive dementia. The cause was meningitis encephalitis. There seemed to be no choice at the time. I had to leave my bohemian life in the art world in California to return to a Chicago suburb where my mom was living. I am a painter. This had all the markings of a disaster. Continue reading “Meet Suzka Collins, author of “Wonders in Dementialand””

Meet Emily Page, author of “Fractured Memories”

Book cover 1By Emily Page

Writing about dementia came about fairly slowly and organically. I’m an artist, so when my dad was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia at the age of 65, my natural inclination was to start doing paintings about our journey as a sort of self-prescribed art therapy. I used an elephant as both a symbol for and a talisman against dementia, because “an elephant never forgets.” Continue reading “Meet Emily Page, author of “Fractured Memories””