And I’ll Never Love Him Less
by Candy Abbott
I already knew there would be a book two as soon as I’ve Never Loved Him More came out. The minute readers finished book one, they began clamoring for more. I couldn’t blame them because, after all, I had left them with a cliffhanger. Drew and I were only as far as the mid-stage of his Alzheimer’s journey when I released book one, and I found myself making promises for “the rest of the story” before I discovered that writing the second half would be more challenging. The first time, whenever something noteworthy or funny happened, I’d race to the keyboard and type it up, so the book sort of wrote itself. But capturing the second half of a day in the life of this caregiver was tedious because Drew followed me around and talked nonstop. He had become needier, and the best I could do was jot the event down on scraps of paper and then hope for a block of time to record the experience. Not only was it not as fresh, but I had to put myself back in the situation and relive each scene. The second half of our journey was more intense. I was adamant about including humor, so I had to diligently search for lighthearted moments and wondered if it would be as well-received as the first book.
Yesterday, I came home to this wonderfully rambling voice message on my recorder about And I’ll Never Love Him Less from Sandra, a caregiver I’m mentoring. “Candy, Candy. I’m reading your book again. I’m rereading—you know, I’ve got all kinds of pages marked with your quotes, with scripture passages, what you went through the last days of Drew’s life. Then I found the poem you included I was looking desperately for, “Christmas in Heaven.” I’m reading it and crying happy tears. I’m not a reader, but I love it, I love it, I love it! Your books help get me through my days. I just wanted you to know.”
The most crucial topic in my book is demonstrating methods I used to retain my peace, especially on the most trying days. If we lash out at a person with dementia, they reflect our emotions. I was able to keep Drew calm for the most part by guarding my own peace. Anger is contagious, but so is a soft word and a gentle spirit. Often, I would leave the room and stay away for ten to fifteen minutes. The beauty of Alzheimer’s is that Drew didn’t remember that he was mad and was happy to see me by the time I returned.
It is painful to care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, and as prevalent as it is today, there are far too many people who don’t know what to expect and how to approach caregiving with a positive mindset. The Lord sustained me during this process. I hope my example will lighten the burden for others and help to end the stigma of a disease that robs identities and impacts entire families. There is a way to come through this stronger than if it never happened. I trust my books will serve as a ready resource.
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Candy Abbott is an author, publisher, inspirational speaker, and grandmom. But most of all, she considers herself a
“fruitbearer” as it is her life’s goal to exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit in all that she does (see Galatians 5:22-23). She owns Fruitbearer Publishing, LLC, an independent publishing company helping Christian authors since 1999. Candy began writing in 1983, around the time she co-founded Sisters in Christ, an interdenominational fellowship. In addition, Candy is an active member of Abundant Life Church, a charter member of Southern Delaware Toastmasters, and founder of Delmarva Christian Writers Association. She has three children, four grandchildren, and three great-grands, all in close proximity to her home in Georgetown, Delaware. I’ve Never Loved Him More and And I’ll Never Love Him Less are available from Amazon; for autographed books and other titles, order through www.fruitbearer.com.
Find Candy at:
https://www.facebook.com/candyabbott
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS462UmMsTL6U5SI4bEt-HA?view_as=subscriber
https://www.linkedin.com/in/candy-abbott-a1584116/
