By Molly LeGrand
I’ve worked in Long Term Care as an Activities Assistant for ten years. This role has offered a unique perspective on Alzheimer’s as I typically will meet the person after a diagnosis. And just like I would with a new friend or colleague, I begin to get to know them, and I get to know them with Alzheimer’s. I was fortunate to start my career in the aging services with a mentor dedicated to the teaching of resident’s rights and the promotion of quality of life. These concepts have become my foundation as I grow in the field.
My motivation to write about Alzheimer’s is personal. This diagnosis can be an extremely emotional time not only for the person but also their family and loved ones. I saw writing as an opportunity to not only join in on a well-established conversation but as a possibility to share my more positive experiences with people living with Alzheimer’s. I don’t offer medical advice, but I do hope to bring some clarity to an often misunderstood disease.
As adults, we are always being told to live in the moment. And when we are with our parent or loved one who has Alzheimer’s this sentiment couldn’t be truer. Caregivers are often left to focus on the medical and physical care of their loved ones. But they deserve to be able to spend time with their loved one and to get to know them during this new phase of their lives.
The feedback I’ve received so far is quite positive, and I think there is a growing collective of families and advocates who realize the same thing, that their loved one is so much more than a medical diagnosis. That although painful, this does not mean that their lives with us have become unimportant nor does it mean we won’t have more special moments with them now.
Some of the most extraordinary people I have met were living with Alzheimer’s. I am continuously humbled by their kindness, their joy, and their constant affection. I write about empathy, relaxation, and validation therapy because with understanding, we will find that our loved ones aren’t “behaving” in a particular way because they have Alzheimer’s, but rather they are trying to communicate with us in a new way.
Comprehending a life without memories is difficult. Memories mean so much to us. They provide us with a sense of self and stand as a reminder of the journey we have taken in this life. And the memories we share with the people closest to us become an intricate piece of our identity. Alzheimer’s may take these memories away from us, but the inability to remember does not mean that it has to redefine who we are nor does it diminish the importance of the many moments that we have collected over the years. I am always hopeful that a cure will be found, but until that joyous day comes, I will continue to write and promote the upside to aging.
About the Author
Molly LeGrand has cared for older adults living with dementia and Alzheimer’s for over ten years. She is a recent graduate of the Erickson School, UMBC where she received her M.A. in the Management of Aging Services. Her blog Upside to Aging is dedicated to sharing an alternative and more positive side to aging.
9 Responses
Reblogged this on and commented:
Great to hear someone who genuinely understands the positives of old age even in misfortune.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m so encouraged to hear about your own understanding of the positive side to aging. Your support fuels my hopes of spreading this message further.
So glad to have found this post. The fear and resulting emotions when this terrible disease is diagnosed is so emotionally overwhelming. I have no doubt that the people you care for are blessed to have you in their lives.
Thank you, Roberta! I completely agree. A diagnosis of Dementia and Alzheimer’s can leave both the person and their family overwhelmed and confused about how to move forward. I’ve learned so much from those living with Dementia and Alzheimer’s, and it is the joy and love they continue to have even in the face of such a terrible disease that I hope to share with others.
Beautifully written, Molly! I can tell that you have reached a real level of understanding of people with Alzheimer’s disease. We are learning so much more, and as a result, the lives of people with this condition will be greatly improved. Thanks!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! The quality of life of the person is just as important as their quality of care, and thankfully over the years the shift towards this understanding has increased.
The more we share about true human beings, and remember their lives for them, the better we will all be going forward. The same principles apply when a family member or friend has had a stroke or other life-altering experience, or lost a voice, or mobility to get out in the world and contribute the way they’re used to doing. Their value is strong, and as we share what we remember about them, it can be celebrated. It sure beats running circles around what a person can no longer do, for the caregiver as well! Thank you Molly, and cheers to a colleague in the AlzAuthors group!
I couldn’t agree more!!! So often we focus on the tasks our loved one no longer can do. However, when we engage with the person, we find that there is so much more to learn about them. Embracing their past and present life benefits both the family, the caregiver and the person. Thank you for your kind words and connecting. Cheers!
Reblogged this on The Upside to Aging and commented:
#AlzAuthors is an inspiring community that through shared stories and experiences spread the message of hope, love, and care into an often disheartening conversation. I’m honored to be among their ranks and hopeful that their continued works will broaden the conversation so that no one living with or caring for Alzheimer’s will feel as they are in this alone.