By Marianne Sciucco, New York, USA
Caring for someone with dementia can be full of challenges, surprises, and sometimes joy. For many, caregiving is thrust upon them with little warning and no preparation. One day you’re going about your normal routine and the next day you become responsible for someone else: a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling or other relation. You are now a caregiver.
When we think of caregivers we often think of women, and that is correct: Approximately two-thirds of caregivers are women, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. Overall, daughters provide the largest share of unpaid care hours for people with dementia (39%), followed by spouses (25%), sons (17%), and other family and friends (20%). (Population Research Bureau)
Men make up about forty percent of caregivers, many of them caring for their wives or partners, but a great number of them are caring for their mothers.
The needs of caregivers vary greatly, and when we consider gender, we see that the needs of male caregivers, especially those caring for their mothers, may be unique.
We’ll discuss this in our next AlzAuthors Live! virtual panel discussion “Caring for Mothers with Dementia – Three Sons Share Their Stories” on Monday, June 9th at 3 pm EDT / 12 pm PST via Zoom.
Our knowledgeable lineup of panelists – David Bredbenner, Vincent Zappacosta, and Alfredo Botello – will offer three unique perspectives sharing their personal experiences and invaluable support and insights for other caregivers currently on a dementia journey.
Potential Topics
- Heeding the call to care
- Lifestyle adjustments
- Getting personal
- Learning new skills
- Handling grief
Meet the panelists
David Bredbenner: David, a technology professional, helped care for his mother, with his sister. He’s the author of “Going Home.” He says, “As we navigated this uncharted territory of dementia with my mom, I constantly came in contact with people that were in similar situations… that had more questions than answers and just wanted a safe space to vent or feel a little less alone. I wrote this book as a way to help people find comfort in community and that, even though it will often feel like it, you are not alone.” You can explore David’s journey in his blog post and podcast here.
Vincent Zappacosta: Vincent is a writer, photographer and graphic designer. He and his husband Douglass Christensen cared for his mother using photography, video, music and laughter to ease the way, sharing their journey on his blog, which eventually became a book, “Dementia Mama Drama.” He says, “My intention with the book is to inspire caregivers and show how being creative and not always following the rules could lead to finding your own way of coping with dementia. I want the caregivers out there to know it is possible to make lemonade out of lemons, being thankful for what is rather than what was or what is going to be. Living in the moment while juggling a few hats has its rewards. It did for us.” Learn more about Vincent on his AlzAuthors blog post here, a podcast here, and a panel discussion here.
Alfredo Botello: Alfredo, a novelist and screenwriter, will be featured on AlzAuthors on June 4th. In the meantime, you can check out his book here and his website here. He is the author of the novel “Spin Cycle: Notes From A Reluctant Caregiver,” based on his story of caring for his mother with “likely early onset Alzheimer’s.” He says, “In desperation I wrote Spin Cycle. I know that when I read anything that resonates with me, be it graffiti on the wall of a bathroom or a line in a highbrow novel, I feel comforted. I feel less alone. If one person reads Spin Cycle and thinks, “that character is feeling, doing and saying exactly what I’m feeling and doing and saying – thank god I’m not alone,” then I’ve done my job.”
Buy the books
Going Home, by David Bredbenner
Dementia Mama Drama, by Vincent Zappacosta
Spin Cycle: Notes from a Reluctant Caregiver, by Alfredo Botello
Note: We are an Amazon Associate and may receive a small commission from book sales at no additional cost to you or the author.
Meet the Moderators
This event will be recorded and published on our podcast and YouTube Channel.
Question? Contact alzauthors@gmail.com
