By Marianne Sciucco, New York, USA
Family caregiving is a profound and complex journey, particularly when faced with dementia or terminal illnesses. In this podcast episode, a replay of a Books & Chit Chat discussion, we delve into the experiences of Malia Kline, co-author of “Sisterly Shove.” Alongside our hosts Christy Byrne Yates and Marianne Sciucco, Malia shares her heartfelt story of caring for her aging parents and the intricate dynamics encountered with her physician sister and co-author Diane Stinson.
A Tale of Two Sisters: Navigating Different Perspectives
Malia’s caregiving journey begins with her family grappling with the twin burdens of her father’s dementia and her mother’s pancreatic cancer. Malia and Diane had differing views on their care, which involved moving each parent cross-country from one sister’s care to the other’s. Diane, a pathologist, believed different medical decisions could extend their lives. Malia wished them relief from suffering even if it resulted in death. However, these differing perspectives did not create a chasm between them; instead, they brought the sisters closer in their shared mission. Writing a book with alternating chapters from each perspective helped in this process.
Caregiving Challenges and Sibling Support: A Balancing Act
Malia discusses how the caregiving experience with their parents allowed her to appreciate Diane’s unwavering commitment. It taught her the valuable lesson of understanding and respecting different viewpoints within the family. She advises others to have early conversations with their parents about their end-of-life wishes, emphasizing that foresight may help families navigate health crises more smoothly.
Malia’s dual responsibilities—caring for her young daughter and managing her father’s dementia care in a North Carolina assisted living center —amplified the stress, presenting scenarios like dealing with her father’s dementia-induced behaviors. The transfer of her father to Diane’s California home, which she describes as “eldernapping,” was fraught with mixed emotions, but ultimately highlighted the importance of sibling support. Malia underscores the value of having siblings during crises and advises caregivers to recognize and appreciate any form of support provided by family members, no matter how small.
Health Impacts of Caregiving
The toll of caregiving on personal health is another critical topic. Diane, who took on the bulk of caregiving responsibilities, began losing her memory at 65 and passed away from dementia at 72. This raises important questions about the potential health impacts on caregivers themselves.
The emotional challenges and guilt that caregivers face are palpable in Malia’s reflections. She speaks candidly about the relief that often accompanies the end of caregiving, a feeling she wrestled with but found natural given the intensity of the caregiving role.
Writing as a Healing Process
For Malia, writing “Sisterly Shove” with Diane was not just a story-telling endeavor but a therapeutic journey. The collaborative process allowed them to alternate writing and editing chapters, facilitating understanding and maintaining their relationship. Their book provides an intimate perspective on caregiving challenges, sibling dynamics, and their fight against the medical establishment.
Through excerpts read during the podcast, we gain insights into how the sisters’ different approaches reflected their childhood personalities and shaped their caregiving strategies. Malia emphasizes the importance of journaling and writing as tools for preserving memories and coping with the complex emotions of caregiving.
In this episode, you will:
- Understand the impact of dementia on the entire family dynamic, not just the individual.
- Gain insights into supporting a loved one with dementia while strengthening family bonds during challenging times.
- Learn how to navigate complex sibling dynamics in elder care to foster a more cohesive and collaborative caregiving approach.
- Discover effective coping strategies when caring for a loved one with dementia, creating a more harmonious caregiving environment.
- See how writing is a powerful tool for processing and managing the emotional complexities of caregiving.
After the Podcast
- Purchase Sisterly Shove
- Learn more about Malia at AlzAuthors.com
- Learn more about the Moderators
- Learn more about Aging & Amazing
- Sign up for the book club
About the Podcast
AlzAuthors is the global community of authors writing about Alzheimer’s and dementia from personal experience to light the way for others.
Our podcast introduces you to our authors who share their stories and insights to provide knowledge, comfort, and support. Please subscribe so you don’t miss a word. If our authors’ stories move you, please leave a review. And don’t forget to share our podcast with family and friends on their own dementia journeys.
We are a 501(c)(3) charitable organization totally reliant on donations to do what we do. Your generosity will help cover our many operating costs, which include website hosting and maintenance fees, service charges to keep things running smoothly, and marketing expenses to promote our authors, expand our content, improve our reach, and more. Our ongoing work supports our mission to lift the silence and stigma of Alzheimer’s and other dementias. To sustain our efforts please donate here.
Ideas and opinions expressed in this podcast belong to the speakers and not AlzAuthors. Always consult your healthcare provider and legal and financial consultants for advice on any of the topics covered here.
Thanks for listening.
We are a Whole Care Network Featured Podcast
Proud to be on The Health Podcast Network
Find us on The World Podcast Network and babyboomer.org
Want to be on the podcast? Here’s what you need to know
We’ve got merch! Shop our Store
