By Lori Aden
My mother got lost driving home from the nail salon back in 2014. At the time, she lived in California, and I lived in Texas. I knew she was having trouble with her memory because she constantly repeated herself during our phone calls each week. But when I learned she got lost while driving a route she had done for 14 years, I knew it was time to move her back home to Texas to live with us. At the time, I hadn’t quite mentally prepared myself that this was Alzheimer’s. I knew my grandmother had passed away from the disease along with two of my grandmother’s siblings. But I didn’t make the connection until she got lost.
At first, we cared for her at home using sitters, neighbors and swapping work schedules so that someone was always home with her. Then as she progressed into the later stages, we took on multiple jobs, sold our home, and downsized to an RV to move her into a memory care center. During her last year, one of my income streams dropped, so we had to move her into a nursing home. Unfortunately, this is also when COVID hit. I was her primary caregiver, so her physical and mental health declined rapidly when I could no longer visit to help feed her or engage with her. The aides couldn’t spend an hour at mealtimes to encourage her to eat as I could. I had a webcam in her room to keep tabs on her. I would let the nursing director know when I saw that she wasn’t changed or when they forgot to bring in food trays for her. My heart ached, knowing I couldn’t be with her. After a lot of fighting, my sister and I, in full personal protection equipment, were able to spend the last three days with her before she passed away – four months after the lockdown started.
I wanted my family and friends to stay up-to-date with her progression through the disease, so I journaled it with the “Mom Chronicles” on Facebook. Over the years, friends would ask me if I would “friend” their friends so that they could learn from my Chronicles as well. I also used the Chronicles as a sounding board to learn from others.
There were many times that my friends asked me to write a book about the Mom Chronicles. I would always tell them that I needed to wait until the story was over – meaning when Mom passed. I heard from family and friends over and over how much the Chronicles were helping them with their Alzheimer’s (and other dementias) journeys. Once Mom passed, I gave myself a month to just process her death, and then I got to work on the book.
I Remember Me shares a personal view of each of the stages using posts and videos through QR codes. I used humor and raw emotion to help make connections to the stages. This book will guide families with practical tips from respected resources, as well as what not to do from the mistakes we made along the way. And hopefully . . . the reader will fall in love with my mother like all the followers of the Mom Chronicles did. Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s takes a village. This book will be a good guidepost on how to do that.
About the Author
Lori Aden, Ed.D. is an educator by trade with over 28 years of experience in K12 and higher education. With a master’s degree in Educational Technology and a doctorate in Teacher Leadership, Dr. Aden used her education experience to research Alzheimer’s caregiving from many different perspectives while caring for her mother. In addition to running a successful home-based business, she works full-time as a program coordinator for one of the largest education service centers in Texas and part-time as an adjunct professor for a community college. However, her proudest roles are wife to Bruce, sister to Sheila, mom to Josh, bonus mom to Leigha, and bonus nana to Xander and Jorja. Most importantly, she is the proud daughter of Marylin, who is the inspiration behind I Remember Me – The Mom Chronicles.
Connect with Lori:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lori.aden/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adenlori/
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-aden-ed-d-9aa5b771/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/adenlori?lang=en
2 Responses
I have just begun reading this book. Within the first 5 pages, I was able to answer a ton of questions that have gone through my mind. I was able to identify the placement my family member is in this journey. While it is a sad reality for me, I am so excited to be able to read how and what I can do along the way through Lori’s journals. The book is a easy read and her honesty, humor, and frustrations are eloquently written! The abundance of research and knowledge is astounding! It has brought me a peace and some confidence in learning this new chapter of our lives! Highly recommend to anyone that is beginning the journey!
Thank you so much, Carol! I’m so happy the book has been helpful to you. My intent has always been to help people going through a similar journey with the little things I learned along the way. My prayers go out to your family as you walk this path as well.