by Kathy Flora
When I sat down at the computer, I intended to write an entirely different book. But the story of caring for my mom as she encountered physical and then brain health issues late in her own life grabbed me and would not let go. Walking the labyrinth of dementia with Mom was both disconcerting and fascinating. I knew that capturing and sharing our story and the paths we each walked through her Lewy Body Dementia, was a call I had to answer.
Walking My Momma Home is a memoir of my mom and me. It is about love, hope, uncertainty, role reversal, courage, and the raw humanity in Mom’s experience of losing herself to this disease. And it is about the hard decisions, conflicts, relationship balancing, and soul-stretching that being her caregiver required. Our story is one of love and laughter, tears and terrors, of opening hearts, and deep emotional healing. Finally, it is a story of God’s loving patience as He guided me to grow into the woman He intends me to be through caring for my mom.
Within the pages, readers will find day-to-day details of life with Lewy Body Dementia, from its hours of clarity and lucidity followed with whipsaw certainty by the most disarming delusions and flights of fantasy. Our mom was both mother and child, young 20-something nursing student and competent RN insisting to be paid for the “shift she just worked” while living in her memory care facility. She found joy in hugs and shared stories with little Jack, her great-grandson who loved her with a soul far older than his 5 years, and she found solace living solely in her mind at times. Yet she never lost touch with us, knowing and calling each of her family members by name.
Lewy Body Dementia proved quite different from Alzheimer’s Disease, differences so profound that those caring for someone with this disease may feel lost or alone. I share our story as a bridge to others facing similar challenges. Each chapter wraps with a reflection of Mom’s Path and My Path – our perspectives, reactions, and emotions that each new challenge engendered. My hope is that readers can see themselves and their loved one in our experience. Finally, resources and questions for the caregiver’s heart support our story with some thought-provoking action steps.
So, yes, dementia is cruel. But I have learned that caregiving can offer unexpected gifts and opportunities to become more of who we are intended to be, if one is open to it. Helping a loved one through this transition can offer profound personal insight, spiritual growth, and a path to our deepest self. It is often a tough path to walk, but it can also open a channel to joy, love, and accessible grace that can change one’s life forever.
Caregiving was an unexpected and unfamiliar role for me, but it is one I cherish. Without this journey I may never have found the hope or joy I hold in my heart today. I am still learning, though Mom has finally walked her path to heaven. My hope is that as others read our story, they will find help to reflect on and process their own journey; for aren’t we all just fellow travelers, trying to find our way home?
Kathleen M. Flora, MA, MCC, NCCC
KATHY FLORA has recently published the audiobook version of her best-selling memoir, Walking My Momma Home. The book chronicles the journey walked with her mom, Marcie, as they experienced the upheavals and unexpected blessings that accompanied Marcie’s increasing dementia. Filled with resources, insights and inspiration for fellow caregivers, the book arose out of a deep calling to share their story of love, acceptance, and grace with others as they walk similar paths.
In addition to her first-time author role, Kathy is a Nationally Certified Career Counselor and Master Career Coach. She has guided hundreds of individuals through life/career transitions. Before taking on the care of her mom, Kathy held positions in leadership development and HR training in the corporate world and in government. She was a three-term elected State Representative in New Hampshire, and managed HR programs for the Congressional Research Service of the Library of Congress and the Defense Intelligence Agency before retiring from public service in 2015.
As a joyful 15-year breast cancer survivor herself, Kathy is a long-time volunteer career coach, speaker, and webinar facilitator for the not-for-profit organization, Cancer and Careers, supporting cancer survivors as they navigate workplace transitions. Most importantly, she is a life partner to Jim, and joyful grandma of four, who can be found biking most mornings on the trails near their home on the Florida Suncoast.
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