By Marianne Sciucco, New York, USA
In this replay of an Aging & Amazing Book Club discussion, Marianne and Christy engage in a deep and emotional conversation with Carolyn Birrell, discussing her personal experience as a caregiver for her mother, who had dementia.
Carolyn, author of Walking with Fay: My Mother’s Uncharted Path into Dementia, shares her story of coping with the challenges of caregiving, its emotional toll, and the need to find humor and love in the face of difficult and unlovable behavior from her mother. She also shares the emotional story of the last days of her mother’s life during the height of the COVID-19 lockdown.
Throughout, Carolyn emphasizes the need for caregivers to find encouragement in being more loving during this difficult process, even when faced with resentment and disappointment. One of the most notable insights shared is Carolyn’s reflection on learning to see past the unlovable behavior of her mother and to remember the person she fell in love with.
Quotes
On Caring for a Parent with Paranoia: “No, Mom, I’m not stealing from you. But also, there is no man breaking into your house at night and moving all the magazines around.”
On Balancing Care and Judgment: “One of the most frightening things for me during that time was the perception from others that I was being overreactive and controlling and was inserting myself into my mother’s life unnecessarily.”
On Caring for a Loved One with Dementia: “I was able to manage her quality of care, but I wasn’t able to manage her quality of life.”
On Finding Encouragement in Challenging Times: “When I wrote the book, I thought I was writing it for people who were feeling alone and I wanted them to know that no, you’re not alone, that others have gone through this just like you. You’re going to be okay and hang in there.”
On Finding Humor and Love in Caregiving: “And I think what I really learned from this whole thing is trying to find the humor and the spirit of actual loving this person who has become oftentimes unlovable.”
In this episode, you will:
- Uncover insightful tips for navigating the unique challenges of dementia caregiving
- Understand the profound impact of COVID-19 on dementia care
- Discover effective coping strategies for dementia caregivers during challenging times.
- Learn about the valuable support and resources available through the Alzheimer’s Association support groups
After the podcast
Read Carolyn’s AlzAuthors post
Note: We are an Amazon Associate and may receive a small commission from book sales.
Connect with Carolyn
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